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Are you Ready? Somtimes surrender means giving up trying to understand, and becoming comfortable with not knowing. Well, that was how it felt.

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There was a part of me I assumed was dead and suddenly there it was, alive and kicking. Anyway, we started getting lunch. I wanted us to make out first. We arranged a time to meet for drinks after work, went to a bar, then walked along the riverbank and made out.

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I felt so humiliated. And I just felt empty. I felt like maybe that was being too clingy.

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I felt awful. I deleted my Ashley Madison app. I deleted all his messages. But trying to cheat and failing at it is pretty bad, too. Anyway, I was ,ooking depressed after that. I tried to distract myself with work.

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